The "B"

December 17, 2007
(Sorry I've been away for so long, but it has been a BUSY Nov/Dec.!)
I couldn't decide on a title for this blog. So many choices went through my mind like:

"Where are the vandals when you need them?"
"Honk if you hate the 'B' !"
"SERIOUSLY????"

Anyway, our neighborhood is great! Many perks, great neighbors, terrific pool, etc.
As with any neighborhood there is always a con or two. Ours happens to be....Christmas decorations! I love Christmas and I love to decorate. I appreciate beautiful lights and displays.
What I don't like is tacky or gaudy....and this year....our neighborhood wins the tacky/gaudy (throw-up) award! Last year, my neighbors and I really freaked out when we saw how the "designer" was decorating. Gold boxes (that really looked like cardboard boxes that had flown out of the back of a furniture truck), NEON green ribbon (not classic Christmas green), red, straw like garland sticking out of rocks, and to top it all off...a one-armed nutcracker! (I am NOT kidding). Well, I went to the home-owner's association meeting in February not to discuss sidewalks, lights, pool issues....no no no... I wanted to talk about the decorations. I read the budget and are ya'll sitting down..... $22,000 for decorations! Oh my gosh! Somebody TOTALLY got ripped off. I was soooo mad, my neighbors were mad, etc. We all somehow settled down until Dec. 1 when the decoration started going up again. Just when we thought it couldn't get any worse.... the lady brings out the "B". There is a giant wooden B at our neighborhood entrance. At first it was filled with red poinsettias on the outside and white on the inside. And then it rained....the white flowers became pink (are you feeling the gaudiness people?) I would get infuriated everytime I drove by. I begged Scott to let me stand by the B with a sign that read "Honk if you hate the B". I even asked him if I could start a petition! (he said no). After about 2 weeks of the "pink" flowers, the "designer" (I use that term loosely!!!) decided to change the flowers to ribbon and lights. (ok, a slight improvement) So now instead of looking like a bad Jr. College homecoming float or a giant funeral spray, it just looks like a giant budweiser sign! Seriously ya'll....not one person, friend, or family member has seen this B and didn't think it was the WORST thing ever! I mean, we have a 1 armed nutcracker and a B. Do you think I would go to jail for vandalism if the B mysteriously "disappeared"? I will be at the associational meeting in February to AGAIN discuss the decorations, only this time ALL my neighbors will b e there with me. (right neighbors?)
Ya'll your Christmas will not be complete until you ride out to my neighborhood to see this for yourself. If you do and you happen to loose control of your steering wheel and ram into the B, there might be a little reward for you!